Mastering Personal Leadership: How the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Transformed My Approach to Leadership and Life

As a Royal Navy Officer, I’ve always prided myself on my discipline and commitment to service. By the age of 33, I had built a solid career, was recently married, and had two young children. Life was full, to say the least. But despite the successes, I felt a growing need to sharpen my focus, not just in my professional role but in my personal life as well. That’s when a conversation with the Head of Royal Navy personnel about goal setting led me to a book that would profoundly impact my approach to leadership: "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey.

The insights I gained from Covey’s book were instrumental in reorganizing my life, enhancing my leadership skills, and improving my performance. As I read through each habit, I realized how they could be applied to every aspect of my life—from managing high-pressure situations at work to being a more present and effective leader at home. Below, I’ll walk you through each habit, share how I applied it in my role in the Navy, and suggest how it can be applied in a project-based manufacturing business by an owner-manager to achieve better results.

1. Be Proactive

What It Means:
Being proactive is about taking responsibility for your life and focusing on what you can control. It’s about shrinking your "circle of concern" down to your "circle of influence." Instead of worrying about things beyond your control, you concentrate your energy on areas where you can make a real impact.

Why It Matters:
We live in a world where it’s easy to get distracted by things that are outside our control—whether it’s politics, global events, or media narratives. These distractions can drain your energy, increase your stress levels, and divert you from achieving your goals. By focusing on what you can influence, you not only become more effective but also experience a greater sense of peace and control over your life.

How I Applied It:
After internalizing this habit, I made a conscious decision to stop wasting time on things outside my control. I stopped reading newspapers and watching television, which often served as a distraction from the things that truly mattered to me. Instead, I directed my attention to my family, career, health, fitness, and skills—areas where I had influence and could make a tangible difference. This shift not only improved my productivity but also significantly lowered my stress levels. By focusing on what I could control, I was able to achieve a much better return on my time and effort.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
For a business owner, being proactive could mean focusing on the factors that directly impact the business—such as product quality, customer satisfaction, and employee morale—rather than worrying about economic trends or industry downturns that are beyond control. By concentrating on what you can influence, you’re better positioned to steer your business toward success, regardless of external challenges.

2. Begin with the End in Mind

What It Means:
This habit is about goal setting and envisioning the future you want to create. It’s about defining a clear vision for your life and career and aligning your actions with that vision.

Why It Matters:
Without a clear goal, it’s easy to drift through life reacting to circumstances rather than shaping them. Goal setting gives you a direction, a purpose, and a framework for making decisions that move you closer to your desired outcome.

How I Applied It:
My journey with this habit began with a simple question from a senior officer: "Do you set goals?" When I answered no, he simply said, "You should." That one comment sparked a profound change in my life. I decided to take his advice seriously and started researching goal setting. I found Brian Tracy’s book on the subject and began plotting a more proactive path for myself and my family. By setting clear goals and working toward them, I was able to take control of my career and personal life, making more deliberate choices that aligned with my long-term vision. This habit not only set me on a path to greater success but also brought a sense of purpose and direction that I had been missing.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
An owner-manager can apply this habit by setting clear, measurable goals for the business. This could include financial targets, product development milestones, or market expansion plans. By beginning with the end in mind, you ensure that every decision and action taken within the business moves you closer to these goals, leading to more focused and strategic growth.

3. Put First Things First

What It Means:
This habit is about prioritizing your time and energy on what’s most important, rather than just what’s urgent. It’s about focusing on high-impact activities that drive long-term success.

Why It Matters:
By learning to distinguish between what’s important and what’s merely urgent, you can make better decisions about how to spend your time and resources. This leads to greater productivity and less stress.

How I Applied It:
In my role with Second Sea Lord's Command, I found myself in an incredibly challenging position. The role, previously carried out by three Lieutenant Commanders, had been downsized to just two of us. When my colleague went on long-term sick leave due to the immense stress, I was left to manage what had recently been three full-time roles on my own. To avoid burning out and to maintain the necessary support for the front-line, I had to radically rethink how I managed my time and responsibilities.

I embraced Covey’s concept of "putting the big rocks in first." Each Sunday evening, I would identify the key roles in my life—naval officer, husband, father, family member, and personal development—and determine 1 to 3 major achievements I needed to focus on for each role that week. I then blocked out time in my calendar for these tasks as "non-negotiables." This weekly planning session became my anchor, allowing me to maintain control over my time, reduce interruptions, and systematically manage the workload that had previously overwhelmed two officers. This practice not only helped me succeed in my multiple roles but also contributed to my overall well-being by giving me a sense of control and accomplishment. I shared these learnings with my boss, who had struggled with work-life balance for over a decade, and he found the approach transformative.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
For an owner-manager, putting first things first might involve identifying the critical tasks that drive business growth—such as product development, customer relationships, and financial management—and time-blocking these activities into the week before anything else. By focusing on these high-impact activities first, the business can move forward strategically, rather than being constantly reactive to daily fires. This approach also helps the owner-manager maintain a better work-life balance by ensuring that personal priorities, such as family time and self-care, are also given the attention they deserve.

4. Think Win-Win

What It Means:
This habit is about seeking mutually beneficial solutions in all interactions. It’s the mindset that there’s plenty of success to go around, and that the best outcomes are those that benefit everyone involved.

Why It Matters:
Adopting a win-win mindset builds trust and fosters strong relationships, whether in negotiations, team collaboration, or customer dealings. It shifts the focus from competition to cooperation.

How I Applied It:
In my role, I often had to negotiate with different departments and branches to secure the best personnel for various missions. By approaching these negotiations with a win-win mindset, I was able to build stronger relationships and ensure that all parties felt they were getting a fair deal, which made future collaborations much smoother.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
An owner-manager can apply this habit by negotiating contracts with suppliers that benefit both parties, ensuring long-term partnerships rather than short-term gains. Internally, this mindset can help in resolving conflicts between departments by finding solutions that meet the needs of everyone involved.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

What It Means:
This habit is about listening with the intent to understand, not just to reply. It’s about empathizing with others before trying to get your point across.

Why It Matters:
In a fast-paced environment, it’s easy to fall into a task-focused mindset where the priority becomes simply checking off items on your to-do list. However, this approach can lead to overlooking the human element—how people are feeling, what their concerns are, and whether they fully understand or agree with what’s being asked of them. This can result in mistakes, strained relationships, and unnecessary stress.

In a hierarchical organization like the military, there’s often a tendency for subordinates to say "Yes" out of obligation, even when they have valid reservations. This can place undue stress on individuals and their families, particularly when the tasks involve short-notice deployments to hostile environments. I discovered that personnel were sometimes pressured into agreeing to deployments when their family situations made it difficult or even unwise. This led to last-minute family crises, medical dropouts, and delays in deploying critical personnel—all of which could have been avoided with better communication.

How I Applied It:
Realizing the importance of understanding both the words and the emotions behind them, I made it a point to listen carefully during conversations, particularly when discussing deployments. By asking open-ended questions and giving personnel the space to express their true feelings and concerns, I was able to identify potential issues early on. This not only improved the well-being of my team members but also increased our operational efficiency. By assigning personnel who were genuinely prepared and committed to the tasks at hand, I reduced the instances of last-minute dropouts, ensuring that our deployments were more effective and that I wasn’t wasting time re-staffing positions.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
In a business context, this habit can be applied during team meetings or when assigning tasks. By listening carefully to employees’ feedback and concerns, an owner-manager can identify potential problems before they escalate, leading to smoother operations and a more motivated workforce. This approach also reduces the likelihood of mistakes or delays caused by misunderstandings, ultimately improving the business’s bottom line.

6. Synergize

What It Means:
This habit is about leveraging the strengths of a diverse group to create something greater than the sum of its parts. It’s the idea that collaboration can lead to better solutions and outcomes than individuals working alone.

Why It Matters:
Synergy encourages creativity and innovation, as it brings together different perspectives and ideas. It also builds a stronger, more cohesive team.

How I Applied It:
In the Navy, synergy was crucial to our success. I regularly brought together specialists from different areas—intelligence, logistics, operations—to collaborate on complex missions. By leveraging the unique strengths of each team member, we were able to devise more effective strategies and execute them with precision.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
An owner-manager can foster synergy by encouraging cross-departmental collaboration. For example, bringing together the engineering, marketing, and sales teams to work on a new product launch can lead to a more innovative and successful outcome than if each department worked separately. This collaborative approach not only improves results but also strengthens team dynamics.

7. Sharpen the Saw

What It Means:
This habit is about continuous self-renewal and improvement. It involves regularly investing in your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being to maintain peak performance.

Why It Matters:
Without regular self-care and development, it’s easy to burn out. Sharpening the saw ensures that you’re always operating at your best, both in your personal life and in your career.

How I Applied It:
Balancing a demanding career with family life required me to pay close attention to my well-being. I made time for physical fitness, continued professional development, and personal reflection. This not only kept me grounded but also ensured I could bring my best self to my work and family.

Application in a Project-Based Manufacturing Business:
For a business owner, sharpening the saw might involve taking regular breaks, engaging in ongoing education, and ensuring work-life balance. It could also mean fostering a culture of continuous improvement within the business, where employees are encouraged to learn new skills and pursue personal growth, leading to a more dynamic and resilient organization.

Covey’s "7 Habits" provided me with a framework to not only improve my effectiveness as a Royal Navy officer but also to enhance my personal life and relationships. By adopting these habits, I was able to lead more strategically, collaborate more effectively, and maintain a balanced, purpose-driven life. Whether in the Navy or in a business setting, these habits are universal principles that can transform your approach to leadership and help you achieve lasting success.

Next Steps:
Reflect on these habits and identify areas in your life and business where you can apply them. What actions can you take today to become more proactive? How can you begin with the end in mind when planning your next project? Consider making these habits part of your daily routine, and watch how they positively impact your effectiveness and overall well-being.

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